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Any Which Way But Undead

July 22, 2014

The scent of wedding cake, flowers, and decay assail me as I approach the table. What else would you expect in Room 7734, a vampire/zombie honeymoon suite after all? There were signs of a struggle everywhere, the over turned table, spilled bottles of champagne, trodden on and smashed cake, scattered flowers, and blots of clotted black blood. Gleaming silver spikes pinned the groom to the wall like some giant macabre butterfly. He groaned in pain as the EMT’s removed the one piercing his left eye. His first words were: “Where’s my wife? What’s happened to her? Who shot me?” He cried in bewilderment.

“Here’s the crime scene Detective Dixon.” My guide, the father of the deceased and now vanished bride announced his brows furrowed in concern. “We just want to know what happened to our daughter, the police have been totally useless.” He suddenly exploded. “They won’t do a thing because our daughter is legally dead!”

“They can be picky about details like that. Call me Danger Mr. Stanford, don’t worry I’ll figure out what happened to Airlea.” I reassured him. I began with the usual round of questions: Who had last seen the bride? What was her mood like? Did she have any enemies? Meanwhile I carefully examined the evidence.

I quickly focused in on the mother of the groom. Groomed to within an inch of her undead life, there was something a little too perfect about her. Her pallid figure icy white, she showed not a single jot of concern for her injured son or his missing bride.

“How did you feel about the wedding Mrs. Albescu?”

“It was Gavril’s choice.”

I found that phrase telling, ‘it’ she called the bride. “And your husband?”

“Nicusor? He refused to have anything to do with the wedding, called it a travesty and threatened to disown our son.” She replied coldly.

“I see.” I felt a tingle. I got on my laptop and began running some searches. Several moments later I looked up. “Mr. Stanford, I’ve found your daughter. She’s one floor down in room 6734.”

“But who took her there and why?” He asked in bewilderment.

“I’m afraid that your son-in-law’s father objected rather violently to their union.” Together we tramped down to the room. I stepped in first weapon drawn. A bound  figure dressed in white squirmed on the bed. I aimed, fired, and brought down the fang-bared man that charged me. Nicusor Albescu slumped unconscious to the floor. I swiftly strapped the silver cuffs on him.

“Airlea!” The overjoyed groom raced to embrace his bride. “You’re safe!” He hugged her close. Garvil turned to his now alert father. “Why did you do this?” He asked.

“To protect our line from contamination. I thought that if she disappeared you would forget her.” Nicusor snarled. No one can be as blood-proud as a vampire.

“Never! I love Airlea! You don’t have to disown me, I’m not your son any longer!” Garvil shouted as they led his cuffed father away in disgrace.


498 Words in response to Finish That Thought #2-3, Special Challenge: Include a deception thatbackfires.

The further adventures of “Danger” Dixon can be found at:

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