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What If Cats Developed Opposable Thumbs?

June 26, 2014
Writing 101

Writing 101

This silly thought popped into my head several weeks ago and refused to leave, lurking in the background. I decided that it was purrfect for this prompt.

What if one day we woke up and the cats had developed opposable thumbs?

Watch out World!

No cupboard or refrigerator would be safe! They would be into everything.

Cats are incredibly curious and sneaky. They can already get into places and things you would have never have imagined. Opposable thumbs would only make the situation that much worse. I can see some scenarios now.

One: A cat is staging a commando raid in the kitchen. Stealthily it pulls open the cupboard door. A can of tuna or cat food is removed and placed on the countertop. Next it slides open the drawer holding the can opener. Said utensil is craftily fished out and positioned on the can. Slowly it is cranked, until… Voila! The can is opened. The lid is carelessly dropped on the floor and the cat plunges nose first into the waiting treat.

Two: A cat leaps up, grabs the refrigerator handle and tugs. The door swings open. A bottle of milk or cream is knocked to the floor. The cap is twisted off. Glug! Glug! Glug! The contents pour out. The cat happily laps up all that it wants, leaving a slippery mess behind.

You could also expect that the contents of your jewelry box (especially anything bright and shiny) might ‘mysteriously’ vanish. Cats love to play with such items.

Your heating and cooling bills would probably get interesting. Once the cats were capable of opening doors for themselves they would do so, they just wouldn’t close them!

Would the cats be interested in tv once they could change the channels? I’m not sure.

Trips to the vet would be nightmares! Securing the cat in the carrier would require a padlock. All veterinarians and shelters  would also have to be locked down.

Would the cats learn to use weapons other than their teeth and claws? I can envision wild cats armed with spears stabbing at humans trying to capture them. Would there be wars waged for territory? Armies of cats marching?

 Bird cages, chicken coops, dove cotes, fish tanks, rabbit hutches, and other small rodent enclosures would be under constant attack. And what if the cats learned to operate the drain tap on a dairy farm’s milk tank? It would be a disaster!

Pet poisonings would sharply increase once they could open bottles of chemicals such as antifreeze and bleach. Hardware stores would rapidly sell out of child-proofing equipment. Padlocks and combination locks would fly off the shelves.

Whew! It would be chaos.

Emily ********************************************************************************************************
412 Words in response to Writing 101, Day Nineteen: Don’t Stop The Rockin’
Today is a free writing day. Write at least four-hundred words, and once you start typing, don’t stop. No self-editing, no trash-talking, and no second guessing: just go. Bonus points if you tackle an idea you’ve been playing with but think is too silly to post about.

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