Rewrite: The Twelve Days Of Christmas
What if you could rewrite your favorite christmas song?
I choose The Twelve Days of Christmas, it needs some serious updating.
- Okay, let’s start with “a Partridge in a Pear tree” and change it into something more accessable, “a Bluejay in a Fir tree“.
- Then we have “Two Turtle Doves“, turtle doves are scarce, make it “Two Mourning Doves“, there are plenty of them around.
- “Three French Hens“, forget the fancy Frech part and make it “Three Free-range Chickens“.
- “Four Colly Birds“, what the heck are colly birds? I prefer the “Four Canary Birds” version.
- “Five Gold Rings“, who are they kidding? I can’t afford real gold and neither can anyone I know, make it “Five 18-Carat Gold Plated Rings“, even that would be a bit of a stretch.
- “Six Geese A Laying“, can stay as long as I don’t have to deal with them, nasty birds they are!
- “Seven Swans A Swimming“, not if I have anything to say about it! Swans are even meaner than geese. Make it “Seven Rubber Duckies A Swimming“, so much safer for everyone.
- “Eight Maids a Milking“, can stay, if you can find eight people of any sex willing to accept the low wages, bring them on!
- “Nine Ladies Dancing“, gets changed to “Nine Female Dancers“, so much easier to find.
- “Ten Lords A Leaping“, who can find ten Lords, much less ten healthy enough to leap? Change it to “Ten Male Cast Members From The Lord Of The Dance“, “hubba, hubba“!
- “Eleven Pipers Piping“, let’s simplify and make it “Eleven People Playing Woodwinds“.
- And finally “Twelve Drummers Drumming“, can stay as it is.
- As for “My True Love” if I could find any kind of lover who can afford to buy all of the original items, I’d snap them up in a heartbeat! As of 2013 the cumulative costs for all goods and services mentioned in the original lyrics is US$27,393.18
- 12/16/2013 Writing challenge. What if you could rewrite your favorite Christmas song? (okaywhatif.com)
- The Twelve Days of Christmas (authorfoleywestern.wordpress.com)
- 12 Things You Might Not Know About “The Twelve Days of Christmas” (mentalfloss.com)
- PNC’s Twelve Days of Christmas Price Index for 2013 – Bloomberg (bloomberg.com)
- 12 Days of Christmas: Fact & Fiction by Joan Reeves (authorsofmainstreet.wordpress.com)
- Longest Song to Sing? (sleepdeprivedsayings.wordpress.com)
- 12 days of Christmas song (ponygirl08.wordpress.com)
- Thirteen Pains of Christmas (smverm.wordpress.com)
- Which Is the Most Lucrative “12 Days of Christmas” Career? (blogs.smithsonianmag.com)
- My Christmas Wish List 2013 (honeymoonblv.wordpress.com)