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The PJ Gun

August 26, 2013

mime (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This story was inspired by an item I heard on the radio this morning. There was a survey made of the things that you most feared as a child. Clowns ranked first. Mimes are a type of clown. I wondered what would happen if a child who feared and hated mimes grew up to be a scientist who could do something about it? This is the story that resulted. Let me know what you think.

The PJ Gun

Stewart hated mimes with a passion. They were creepy! Many people found mimes hilarious. Stewart wasn’t one of them, to his mind they weren’t the least bit funny. When he was a child he had been afraid of them. They were so irrational! Always pretending to struggle with things that weren’t really there. Well Stewart had a solution for that! Stewart was a certified scientific genius. He had turned his vast intellect and superior technical skills onto the problem of how to deal with the mimes once and for all. The result of his work was the PJ Gun. PJ was short for Poetic Justice. Which was exactly what Stewart was about to visit on the mimes. He found his quarry in the plaza going through his routine. Stewart waited patiently for the right moment. Finally it came! Trembling with eagerness Stewart raised the PJ Gun to his right shoulder. He centered the cross-hairs of the gun on his target. He took aim and pressed the trigger. No one noticed his actions, he had cleverly disguised the weapon as a video camera. Holding his breath in anticipation he waited for his device to do its job. The mime began frantically beating on the sides of the invisible box, sides that thanks to the PJ Gun were suddenly all too real. The mime opened his mouth and screamed for help. No one could hear him. Stewart’s weapon included a sound dampener. Everyone thought that it was all part of the mime’s act. They roared with laughter. The mime grew more frantic. He stepped as far back in the box as he could then rushed the opposite side trying to tip the box over. He failed, the box was firmly fixed to the ground. The mime tried to jump out of the box. Stewart had considered that possibility too. The box had a top. Slowly smothering, the mime slumped limply to the ground. The monitors Stewart had included in the gun registered his slowing heartbeat. The crowd began to stir restlessly as realized that the mime was not faking. Their laughter stopped. The heartbeat flatlined. “C’mon dude, get up! This isn’t funny anymore.” A man in the crowd shouted. A chorus of “Yeahs!” and “Get ups!” sounded. The gathered crowd stirred restlessly. Several people started towards the mime. Stewart released the trigger of the PJ Gun just before a concerned citizen reached the mime. The invisible box his weapon had projected vanished without a trace. “Call an ambulance! I think he’s had a heart attack!” Someone in the crowd began to perform CPR. Smiling in satisfaction Stewart strode away to find a new target. Leaving the plaza he could hear the high-pitched siren of the ambulance pulling up to the scene. He patted the weapon fondly. Poetic Justice indeed! He was already considering ways to adapt the Gun to include clowns as well. Perhaps even politicians? Obviously he had more work to do. His mind busy, Stewart whistled a happy tune as he walked.



From → Fiction, Short Story

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  1. Justice for Lynne Stewart | TALES BY CINDY

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